我一直是個很念舊的人, 時不時的就會在那回想當初, 遙望過去....以前cal常常指責我花費太多時間在過去. 他認為念舊不是壞事, 但是過度的念舊, 只會讓我停止往前走, 不再進步.
因為他的影響, 我每次一開始回想過去, 就會硬逼自己停止, 並努力的往前看. 不管怎樣, 規劃未來比無謂的歷史回顧還要有用......可是我很難控制自己. 尤其最近因為jci下個月要辦的同學會活動, 跟幾個很少聯絡的朋友又開始交談起來, 話題離不開回到母校的種種. 我連作夢都一夢到高中的種種. 有的是惡夢, 有的是美夢.....
每次想到過去, 我都有股愧疚感! 我覺得對不起自己, 對不起cal一直以來的勸說....這種愧疚到讓我到現在還無法下決心買機票. 我覺得....花這些時間/金錢回去重溫舊夢, 是否代表著我對過去還是放不下? 還巴著不放手?
當留言板上有將近一半的留言是出自我手, 我懷疑....我是不是所有老友中, 最熱衷的一位? 也象徵著, 我是對現狀最不滿, 最想回到過去的?
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然後, 繞完一圈的複雜矛盾思維....我又開始想: 我會不會想太多了? 到底該不該回去?

3 則留言:
I would say you should go to the reunion. It only happens once in a life time with such big reunion. Cherish the memories is good, but not lingering on with the memories. You are disatifying of what you have now, because you are lingering on the past. You miss those memories. (I think). By cherishing the past, meaning you are happy about the past, yet at the same time you are looking forward to your future. You won't compare the past with the present. Look out, there are much more stuff waiting for you to cherish.
It's not that complicated!!! Going back to the reunion has nothing to do with the present or future...as I said before, if you know you will regret in the future for not being there, why not just go ahead and do it...?
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